Our Beloved Monster and Me

Our oldest daughter has been on the verge of 13 for about 3 years -- though now that the actual birthday is only two months away  she seems to have ramped up the process.  

For instance, yesterday: I thought we’d make a quick jaunt to the bookstore before picking Mad up from camp.  About halfway there we got into a discussion about why I wouldn’t leave her alone at Borders for the forty minutes it would take to pick up her sister.  I might (though probably not) have done it if she’d had both her cell phone and a friend with her -- but without those two things, no go. And so I found myself stuck in the car with Em in full politician mode: alternately arguing her case and accusing me of not trusting her.  There was some name calling on her part.  Without her realizing it I turned down a side street and drove back toward our house, parked the car in the driveway where I turned off the ignition and waited for her to finish before asking her if she’d like to stay home while I picked up her sister, or go get something to do in car while we picked up her sister because we sure as hell weren’t going to the bookstore now.

And this morning: I go to wake her at about 8:30, as I always do, and she asks me to snuggle, a rare request, so of course I want to snuggle, which I do for a few minutes, but I have several things to do (make lunches, put over laundry, walk the dogs, take a shower) before we leave for camp so I give her a kiss and remind her to get going and I’m half way down the steps to the kitchen when I hear: MOM! MOM! -- and I rush back up thinking something’s wrong (bloody nose?).  I get as far as her doorway when she says, “can you pull my blankets up for me?  I’m cold.”

This child, who can’t pull her own blankets up, is indignant that I won’t allow her to go to the bookstore and hang out by herself.

Sigh.

There’s more, but I won’t bore you.  It’s enough to know she hates me/she loves me/ she needs me/ I’m an idiot.  I’ve been on both sides of this equation now, and frankly, if I had to choose, I choose my present (parental) side because nothing could make me go through those teen years again.  I’m getting whiplash alternating between sympathy for my girl and complete engulfing frustration. Living with her  right now is like trying to balance on a surfboard: We’re at the top of a ten story wave an

d my only hope is to plant my feet and keep my head so I don’t flip both of us beneath the foam.

But last night: we had fun.  She took a cooking class recently, so last night she gave us a quick tutorial in the art of fried wontons which we filled with chicken and broccoli and sauteed up in a pan of grapeseed oil, then ate, piping hot, with our fingers.  Em says this is a great way to use up the leftovers in the fridge, and I totally agree.  A pack of wontons is not more than a few dollars at the store and you can fill them with whatever you like.  We just threw ours into a fry pan last night, but when we make them again, I think we’ll steam them a minute first then plonk them in the hot oil because then you only need to cook one side.  They were crispy, golden, delicious.  Her dad and I dipped our wontons in soy sauce, but Em liked hers plain.   These would make great appetizers.

Here are Em’s instructions on how to do it:

1. Cook some chicken (I seasoned 2 boneless chicken breasts with sea salt and pepper then poached them in 2 cups of water with several dashes of low sodium soy sauce, a bay leaf and some gratings of ginger.)  Or use some leftover chicken.
   
2. Thaw about 1/2 cup of broccoli and roughly chop
   
3. Using only small pieces of broccoli and chicken fold them into individual wontons.
4. Seal the wontons by dipping a finger in a glass of water and running your finger over the 4 sides of the wonton and then folding the wonton into a triangle, or make a little pocket book by gathering the four corners together or roll it up and seal the ends by folding them over.
5. Plonk them into hot grape seed oil.  Fry until they are golden on all sides. (see notes)
   

Notes:

• I use grape seed oil because it can safely get very hot -- without catching fire (unlike olive oil).
  
• Em’s cooking class threw them into a deep fryer -- which I don’t have -- but which would effectively cook all sides of the wonton all at once --
  
• Which is why I’d steam them first.  I don’t have a steamer so I stick a colander in a large stock pot of boiling water and put a lid over the whole thing.  Steam them just for a minute - maybe even less- so the wonton dough cooks a bit before tossing them in the oil.  Then just cook one side up crispy and golden.  We cooked our wontons in batches because we don’t have a fry pan big enough to accommodate
  

Make as many fried wontons as you have the patience for.  We used about 3/4 of a pack before Em got bored and hungry and we all just started shoving the cooked chicken and broccoli into our mouths until it was gone.